Tipping Etiquette

Tipping has become a widespread social custom of including extra payments to service-related industry workers. They are never required and vary by culture. Failing to give an adequate tip often violates etiquette standards. Knowing when and who to tip is always uncomfortable when you are unsure of who should receive it and the amount to delegate. Here are some basic rules of gratuity…

Service-related industries are built upon gratuities. The actual wages of the workers are extremely low, approximately $2, as employers factor in tips to the overall salaries of employees. If employers had to pay higher salaries because workers were not generating enough income from tipping, the costs of the said businesses would increase and no one would be happy. Therefore, one should always tip a bartender, taxi driver, delivery person, hotel maid and server but each one requires a different method. (Keep in mind that these are GENERAL rules of gratuity.)

o Tipping a bartender $1 per drink is usually sufficient.

o For a Taxi Driver, everyone has different ideas of right/wrong, but it is customary to give between 10% and 15% of the fare. Citidex has the New York City pricing guides.

o It is customary to tip a delivery person between $2 for small packages and $4-$5 if there are more. For large items, such as a bed, $10 is appropriate.

o Hotel maids/housekeeping should get $2-$3 per bed per night. The tips should be given each day. Check out About.com’s Tipping Guide for Hotels by Charlyn Keating Chisholm.

o Servers typically receive between 15% and 20%. When calculating the tip, dividing the pre or post-tax dollar amount by 5 would provide you with a 20% tip. Dividing by 6 will give 17.5%→18% and diving by 7 will offer 15%.

o Tip Jars: Up to You… There is no steadfast rule about a tip jar next to a cash register. Although the trend has been popping up around pizzerias, Dunkin Donuts and Starbucks alike, do not feel obligated to contribute to the fund. At this juncture, many only tip if they receive exceptional service.

You may tip anyone who went above and beyond to help you. A tip is not only a cash gift but an acknowledgement of your appreciation for services rendered. Eye contact, a smile and a big thank you are also a must when someone does something for you.

Etiquette enables people to avoid uncomfortable situations by providing social standards. Setting a good example for kids by using and applying the behaviors will ensure that they will have the social skills to succeed in society in the future. PS- Findalink.net is a great resource to answer the rest of your burning questions about tipping.

The Beautiful Side of Celebrities

Last night, I went to New York Moves Magazine: Spring Fashion Launch. The cover featured Kristin Davis in all her glory, and I was fortunate to attend the premier. Being that I am typically somewhat shy, I was extremely hesitant to approach her. After all, how many times did I watch Sex and the City with my girlfriends, wishing that I was as fabulous and fashionable as the SATC foursome?

March 11, 2010, I met Charlotte York, the epitome of modern manners. Throughout the six seasons of SATC, Charlotte was a model of respect, treating everyone that she encountered with dignity (even her mother-in-law Bunny!). As she ordered her cosmos, she would make sure to say please to the waiter. She seemed to be the one who always knew what to say and when, and in her momentary lapses due to extreme emotion, she was so humanized that you were actually able to commiserate. She reprimanded the other women for not being polite and respectful to others, and she always maintained her poise. Her conservative demeanor (pearls included!) gave into the stereotype that her mannerisms and behaviors were innate, which were completely intimidating to those of us, who are not completely detailed oriented. Part of Charlotte's charm was that she acknowledged everyone with a smile or a greeting. She said "hello" and smiled, even while facing hardship.

Being a resident of New York City, I realized that one doesn't need cardigan sweaters, sundresses, or an Upper East Side apartment to don social graces. Saying thank you to the doorman as they hold open the door is absolutely necessary, but greeting everyone that you encounter on your walk out of the building (neighbors, staff...) could change someone's day. Recognizing and appreciating that we are all living and working in the same environment spreads positive energy and respect. How many times have you said hello to a child, but he or she does not respond? Although some parents will enable the behavior by saying, "oh, Johnny is just feeling a little shy today," or perhaps nothing at all, the time has come to recognize this behavior is no longer acceptable. In a society with a lowered morale due to all of the financial misgivings, personal interactions are all that is left. Although lengthy discussions are not necessary on a child's behalf, eye contact and a smile are the bare minimum (of course, do not allow your child to talk to strangers!). If your child is hesitant to engage others, turn it into a game- see how many smiles you can give out each day. This behavior needs to be practiced, but it is one that does not require any sort of dress or status; it is great just coming from you!

I totally understand that she is a character on TV; unrelated to the real life persona of Kristin Davis, but Charlotte York made having social skills fashionable. Yesterday I discovered something else: Kristin is just as well-mannered. Taking extra time to give a smile and acknowledge those who came to celebrate the occasion with her made her seem grateful of the support; regardless if it was from other celebrities or people like me. Recognizing that people are people and everyone is special truly showed the beautiful side of Kristin Davis.

On another note- watch for next week's exposé: "The Unspoken Message Behind The Text..." Email me at julie@etikids.com to share your experience with someone who only communicates via text/messenger or chat (no personal communication).