Rules for Eating Utensil Placement

In the Dear Julie section of www.etikids.com, a question was recently submitted about the placement of eating utensils. “Where are the utensils placed during and after a meal?”

As I had responded to the “anonymous” writer, the rules of dining etiquette are simple and finite. They clearly signify a brief pause in eating or the end of a delicious meal. Using proper dining etiquette ensures that the place setting, tablecloth and person’s lap stay clean throughout the meal. Therefore, used utensils should never be placed on the table.

Soup bowls are often brought on flat plates, which is where the spoons should be placed when the portion is complete. According to askmen.com, the same is true for position of spoons for tea and shrimp cocktail forks.

When taking a break between bites, the fork should be placed on the left side of the plate and the knife on the right. This is because when one uses the knife and fork, the knife is held with the right hand (to slice), while the left hand holds the fork (to keep the the food in place).

If you would like a second helping, put the fork and the knife together on the right with the handles facing towards you. This will make room on the plate for another portion of food.

When finishing a delicious meal, Chef Albrich will tell you that the knife and fork should be placed parallel to each other with the handles pointing to the right. Jennifer Maughan will remind you to place them more towards the center, so they don’t fall off the plate when removed by a server.

Teaching children the three tricks to utensil placement will ensure that the social skills become an innate behavior. Children will not have to think about how to behave properly: they just will. They can teach their friends, the word will spread, and you will no longer have to worry about flying utensils when servers clear your place setting.

If you have an etiquette question, it can be answered for you! Go to the Dear Julie section of the www.etikids.com website. All questions are anonymous; all tips are free!

Hot Plates, Cold Plates, Some Plates, No Plates

According to an article written by Jess in When Harry Met Sally, "restaurants are to people in the 80's what theatres were to people in the 60's." Dining out has become a social situation, a way for people to (re)connect with friends. The meals are filled with laughter and conversation; reminiscing about the past and fantasizing about the present. The only lull in the evening occurs at 1 awkward moment: how many plates must be served before one can and should start eating? Knowing that the food in restaurants is rarely brought out at the same time, does everyone need to have a dish in front of them before beginning the meal?

Different behaviors are revealed in the moments when the server brings out the first plates. Some of the people begin eating the moment their food arrives, carefully avoiding eye contact with the hungry stares around the table. On the flip side, others are adamant about waiting until all people at the table have been served, whether there are 4 people or 20. Which is correct?

To answer that burning question: neither is correct. Like many situations in life, the topic of "how many people need to be served before eating" falls into a gray category, with several aspects that need to be considered. First of all, how many people are sitting at the table? Second, is the meal a dinner salad or an entree? If the table has six people or less, all occupants should receive their food (hot or cold) before someone takes a bite. The only time it would be acceptable to begin eating earlier would be if those without food insist that the lucky folk start their meal instead of waiting for the rest of the entrees.

If the table has more than 6 people, statistics and math skills come into play... 3 "hot" plates (entrees, pastas, secondi) should be served before taking the first bite (dinner salads are not included in this). Of course, it is polite to provide permission for those with hot plates to begin immediately, as no one enjoys eating cold steak. If the table has more than 10 diners, it would be preferable for 4-5 hot plates to be served before delving in. Typically, one-third of the table should have their food... However, the most appropriate table etiquette would be to wait until permission to eat has been granted by those without plates (the conversation being, "no, please go ahead and eat. I insist!").

And of course, this manner can be taught to children that are of the preschool age and older. To utilize developmentally appropriate math skills, the child must count how many "hot" plates are served before they can begin. Sorting out the types of food that are "hot" versus "cold" enables the child to practice placing items into separate categories. Using one to one correspondence (assigning every meal a number) will keep the child entertained for a few moments. When the preschooler becomes a working adult, this skill will ensure that he/she will not become the "rudie" at the business dinner, who started eating before all of the bosses. Knowing how many plates should be served before eating is a practice that will help children in work and social situations in the future.

Bon Appetit!